FAMILY THOUGHTS!!!

With all of the family photos it makes me crazy and sad at the same time. I know that i have family that follow my blog and they are going to be upset or what ever but i don't care anymore. I don't have a relationship with my immediate family like i would like and it makes me really sad to know that things are being said about me that are not true or about my kids. If talking about about someone makes you feel better about yourself than so be it. We could have a huge family gathering but ego's, pride and everything gets in the way. I would just love to be able to go to a family function and not feel like i was scrutinised for everything that i have done or did. I know that people are missing out on my kids and it makes me sad to know that its OK with them. And i am sad that my kids cant get to know them. I had a great childhood. I have always loved it and have talked about it with my kids and going to the farm and visiting family has made me sad to know that i have kept away because of them. My kids have even missed out through these years about what makes me me. When i was at the farm my kids saw kid pictures of me and they thought it was funny because they have never seen any pictures of me as a kid, just stories. Every person has had a time in their child hood that they remember weather it was good or bad and just because i have brought them up in passing while raising my kids and why i am doing things different doesn't mean that my whole child hood was bad. We learn from what we didn't like as a child and change it with raising our kids, and as my kids grow up and have kids they will do the same thing. I would hope that they change things because they didn't like the way i did something. I know that i have raised my kids the best possible way that i know how to and want to. I also know that i will never loose communication with them because as they have kids, i want to be part of their life for who they are and who they will become along with my grand kids. I cant wait for the day to come when i can stop raising kids and watch my kids raise theirs the way they want from learning from what i have done good or bad. That is what life is about and i cant wait to be apart of it.